Let’s begin by acknowledging some things. Being believed matters. Exposure matters. Accountability matters. Silence protects perpetrators.

Self-protection matters. 

Our emotions exist to move us to do things that are important to us. Big emotions have the potential to create change in ourselves and in the world around us. When people have powerful emotional responses to information regarding situations where others were severely harmed in horrific ways, they are often moved to demand change.

That’s why some people use graphic details in order to incite anger and guilt and induce us to take action. 

Graphic excerpts. Redacted photos. Zoomed-in details. Comment sections filled with speculation mixed alongside fact. Reels reading disturbing passages aloud. We don’t always choose to encounter it. Sometimes we open an app and it’s just there…No warning, no buffer, no chance to prepare.

Across social media, a phrase keeps circulating: “Don’t look away. The victims didn’t get a choice. Why should anyone else?”

It’s meant to hit hard. And it does. Though, it seems that the point of this statement is forced empathy through shared torment.

Those presentations risk causing secondary trauma, especially for those with trauma or anxiety disorders.

It can land not as a call to justice, but as an accusation of apathy. As if stepping back or looking away from graphic content equals indifference or worse, assent.

The constant drip of graphic or morally destabilizing content can:

• Trigger intrusive imagery
• Fuel compulsive checking and rumination
• Spike adrenaline and panic
• Deepen hopelessness
• Create dissociation
• Disrupt sleep and basic functioning

Protecting yourself does not dishonor other survivors. It keeps you present in your own body. You can be deeply committed to justice and still be psychologically harmed by how this content is being circulated. Those truths are not in conflict.

You can protect yourself AND do things to help others.

Justice work has always been slow, messy, and imperfect. That doesn’t make it hopeless or worthless. Raging against a system that is outside of your sphere of influence is exhausting. Instead, work and influence where you can, whether that is on a national stage or a local one.

Real, sustainable support looks like:

• Donating to survivor support organizations
• Voting and contacting representatives
• Supporting investigative journalism
• Having grounded conversations offline
• Advocating for policies that protect vulnerable people
• Getting involved in local community organizations

You can’t do those things if you’re spiraling.

Care for yourself and retain your ability to help.

Curate aggressively.
Mute. Unfollow. Use “not interested.” Take breaks. You are allowed to say, “I care about this, and I can’t consume it this way.” Use discernment carefully. 

Choose structured information over raw feeds.
One reputable summary. One journalist. Avoid comment sections, which are rarely regulated or grounded spaces.

Watch for compulsive spirals.

Re-reading details, searching for “just one more” document, feeling morally anxious if you stop.  This isn’t activism. It’s compulsion. More information will not resolve that anxiety. Temporarily stepping away might.

If you’re triggered, take a break.

• Put the phone down. Plant your feet. Name what you see.
• Focus on your breath and heart beat. Count heart beats as you breathe in and as you breathe out. Notice how, as you continue to do this, your breath becomes deeper and longer and your heart beat matches pace.
• Loosen and soften the muscles in your body. Sit comfortably and focus on one area at a time.
• Name three things you see, three things you hear, and three things you touch. Then do the same with two things. And again with one thing of each.
• Hold an ice-cube in your hand and feel the cold and wet as it melts and drips.
• Or any other grounding exercise you know.

For Survivors Reading This

If this content overlaps with your lived experience, you are not required to relive anything to prove that you care. You are allowed to block hashtags, avoid images, log off entirely, or ask someone else to filter information for you.

If you live with PTSD, OCD, panic disorder, or depression, your system may react more intensely and that means boundaries matter more, not less.

They are not betrayal…they are maintenance.

You are allowed to care deeply, feel rage and grief, step back, return later, avoid graphic content, mute hashtags, and protect your sleep.

And if someone says, “They didn’t get a choice,” it’s okay to respond:

“I honor that. And I also honor the limits of my own nervous system so I can stay in this work for the long haul.”

Both can exist at the same time.

If you’ve been scrolling for a while, put the phone down. Not forever. Just long enough for your nervous system to catch up with the fact that you are safe right now.

Not because you don’t care.

Because you do.